Decisions, decisions.

In fifth grade, our teacher Mr. Rossetti asked the entire class to write a letter to ourselves. We were supposed to describe what we thought our lives would be like once we were all grown up. It was a surprisingly easy task for us - I don't think it took longer than 15 or 20 minutes for all of us to complete it. Then we folded up our future plans, sealed them in envelopes, and passed them to the front of the class. I completely forgot about my letter until they handed them out at high school graduation, seven years later. My letter went something like this:

Dear Jen,
Congratulations! After college, you are going to become a fourth-grade math teacher in a small town. You are going to get married and have a big black lab and two kids.

I laughed when I read this. Not because it was a silly idea, but because it was so simple and so matter-of-fact. At the time, I knew exactly what I wanted. I wrote the letter full of confidence, but I read it full of indecision. Standing there in my graduation gown, I didn't even know what I was going to study in college, let alone how my life would turn out.

Over the years, the future I imagine has never been the same for longer than six months. I frequently change my mind about what I want, and I'm constantly learning about new things I enjoy and want to try. Within the last five years, I've wanted to become a columnist, a vet, a novelist and news anchor. I've lived in California for a while, but I also want to try out Chicago, New York and maybe even New Zealand. Since I seem to like practically everything, and my interests are only growing, it's impossible to zero in on a goal and stick with it for any length of time.

But I don't necessarily think my indecisiveness is a bad thing. Since I'm open to new things, I'm always learning something new about myself. I think that's how people stay happy. If you're constantly chasing the same dream without questioning it or re-evaluating it, you run the risk of ending up with something you don't really want - something that won't really make you happy.

And as I learn more about myself, I think I'm getting closer to finding what I want. It's just taking me a little longer than most people.