I want to eat cake and get frosting on my nose

I miss the days when birthday meant party streamers, ribbons in my pigtails, musical chairs, and a Minnie Mouse cake with pink, sugary frosting. My little cousin celebrated her fourth birthday last weekend, and I have to admit, I was a little bit jealous.

Donned in her new sandals and matching red purse, she played whiffle ball with the boys, ate handfuls of potato chips and gave everyone kisses that left behind smudges of pizza sauce or ice cream. With more than 25 party guests, it was a big day for a four-year-old.

As soon as I arrived, she ran up to me and nearly knocked me over with her excitement. With a giant mouthful of kielbasa, she managed to ask me if I'd go see her room. I held her tiny hand as she led the way upstairs. Apparently, her first present of the day was a pink, flower-shaped rug, and she couldn't wait to show it off.

As I looked around her very pink room, it reminded me a lot of my old bedroom. Like a much younger me, Leah loves glittery jewelry and My Little Pony figurines. Stuffed animals fill her bed, and she even has a mermaid night light. I realized then that maybe I miss more than just childhood birthdays. I was beginning to think that I might miss childhood everything.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to when Saturday was Cartoonday, and I could play outside all day until the sun went down. But most of all, I miss having nothing to worry about. No bills. No job. No real responsibilities. Aside from occasional homework, having fun is the main priority when you're a kid. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time deciding on a career path or setting long-term goals – I don't want to grow up.

By the end of the day, Leah was utterly exhausted. Her white sweater was stained a rainbow of colors, and her hair was one huge knot. As she gave me a big hug and a sloppy kiss goodbye, I became acutely aware that my shirt was clean and my hair was in place.